The Taboo Words
by MadaraUchiha-Chan
Summary: Madara and Obito are winning the war and things aren't so going well for our favorite #1 hyperactive knuckle headed ninja. Until of course, the taboo words are spoken...the two Uchiha don't stand a chance now...Fem!Naruto...some Fem!NaruSasu...crack...


**HEY GUYS!**

 **I WAS INSPIRED TO WRITE THIS ONE-SHOT FROM THE ONE-SHOT _'Kurama's Last Stand'_ BY _Lucillia_...HOPEFULLY IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE I'M COPYING HER IDEA...**

 **HOPE YOU GUYS GET AT LEAST A GOOD LAUGH OUT OF THIS!**

 **PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW XD**

* * *

Naruto Namikaze Uzumaki's cerulean blue eyes burned ferociously at the two Uchiha in front of her.

"You guys, you guys need to stop this crap!" yelled Naruto as Madara and Obito turned to her, their expressions curious.

"Is this the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, Obito?" asked Madara giving her a look over.

"Hey, hey! My name is Naruto Uzumaki, dattebayo!"

 _'A bit on the annoying blonde side, but not bad...'_ thought Madara before putting his attention back on Obito who looked irked.

"Yes she is..."said Obito ignoring Naruto's outburst before continuing "...Her name is Naruto Uzumaki, the girl who continuously messes up our plans..." grumbled Obito before slightly blushing in humiliation "...Every single time..." said Obito clenching his fists.

"You must be quite out of shape to let a little girl..." Madara turned a blind eye to Naruto's furious shrieks at being called a _'little girl'_ by him "...get in the way of our plans..." smirked Madara as Obito flushed "...I must say you disappoint me..." Madara's tone conveyed mock sadness as Obito twitched, his fists clenching harder.

"At least _I_ didn't die old...with blue balls..." muttered Obito furiously under his breathe as Madara scowled, hearing his snarky remark.

"At least _I_ wasn't defeated by some dumb blonde chick named after a fishcake on multiple occasions..." sneered Madara his tone mocking.

 _"HEY!"_ yelled Naruto again taking offense to that, she wasn't dumb, nor was her name bad, it was beautiful excuse you!

The two ignored the fuming Uzumaki.

"At least _I'm_ not a zombie!"

"At least I'm still not a virgin!"

"Fool, I've screwed more chicks then the times you've screwed Hashirama!"

"That would be zero since we _DIDN'T_ screw!"

"Um...guys?" asked Naruto sweatdropping as her arch nemesis argued like an old married couple.

 _"SHUT UP, FLAT CHESTED!"_ yelled the two in sync as Naruto froze, her face shadowed.

"Oh no they didn't..." muttered Kakashi in horror paling as he let out a few whimpers "...Why...why did they say it...?"

Sasuke shivered violently before grabbing Kakashi and Sakura's hands and shunshin'ing as far as he could.

They had said the taboo words, _NOBODY_ made it out alive when the taboo words were spoken.

 _NOBODY._

"W-what did you guys just call me...?" muttered Naruto her eyes still shadowed as she grit her teeth. "...I think you'll need to repeat that for me, dattebayo..." Naruto's voice turned dark, Kurama's chakura slowly surfacing.

Madara and Obito looked at each other and smirked not noticing the warning signs, before turning back to Naruto.

"We meant you, flat chested..." grinned Obito. "...I feel bad for Sasuke, he has nothing to grab onto..." smirked Obito making grabbing motions with his hands as Madara chuckled.

"I have to agree with that, there's nothing there, you're as flat as a board." leered Madara making Naruto start trembling, only the two mistook it for something else.

"Is little Naruto-chan feeling upset~?" mocked Obito ignoring the fact that the whole area was completely cleared and deserted.

"If it helps we'll give you boobs in the Infinite Tsukiyomi." chirped Madara as Naruto slowly walked forward, her blonde hair slowly splitting into nine tails.

"You dare... _YOU DARE TO CALL ME FLAT-CHESTED!?"_ roared Naruto as her hair was now completely split into nine parts, and loomed over her as the image of a demon appeared behind her, roaring.

Naruto, now on auto drive, charged towards the two Uchiha like an angry bull ready to slaughter and scatter body parts.

"Run..." said Killer Bee as he fled, forgetting about the war.

The poor guy was too scared to even compose a rap at the moment.

 _'Forget the Fourth Great Ninja war, there's about to be a fifth one!'_ thought Gaara nervously sweating.

He had seen what happened when the taboo words were said to his friend, and it was not pretty.

'I don't want a rotating Rasengan to my crotch like that enemy shinobi had gotten...' thought Gaara as he flees to safety using his sand to fly away, better to be safe than sorry...

* * *

20 miles away...

"Hm? Popcorn anyone?" smiled the Third Hokage as everyone looked at him like he was insane. "I've seen this happen quite a bit so I keep storage seals filled with popcorn on me at all times." smiled Sarutobi as everyone shrugged and took a bag each before sitting down, ready to watch the show.

Heck even Juubi took an industrial sized bag, squashing a few shinobi under itself as it sat down, watching intently.

It probably didn't understand what was going on but all it knew was that shit was about to go down and it'd rather not be on the receiving end.

* * *

"E-er..."muttered Obito nervously as he backed up slightly at the insane amount of killing intent directed in their direction.

Sakura Haruno was Naruto's best friend, she had a killer set of lungs on her, and she could enhance her voice with chakura due to her medical skills, so she did what she had to do.

She gave Naruto a little _push_...

 _ **"OH WHAT WAS THAT I JUST HEARD YOU SAY OBITO? YOU SAID YOU THINK NARUTO IS SO FLAT CHESTED SHE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE REGISTERED AS A GIRL?! AND YOU SAY YOU AGREE TOO MADARA?"** _ yelled out Sakura grinning insanely as Obito and Madara froze before turning to Naruto, who was now charging at the speed of light towards them, her eyes glowing red as a red, evil aura cloaked her entire body.

Sasuke whimpered, this was true fear, screw revenge on the Leaf, if he was up against _that_ he might as well roll over and present himself to Naruto tied up by a red ribbon.

 _'Could it be the Nine tails chakura? No, I don't sense any coming from her...could this be the infamous feminine fury I've heard so much about from Minato in the past...?'_ thought Obito horrified as he watched the girl ram headfirst into Madara with the force of a wrecking ball as his now _'soon to be even more dead than he already was'_ sensei screamed in fear.

 ** _"YOU'LL PAY YOU-!$#!#$%^%$# ! #$%^%$#!"_** screeched Naruto as she repeatedly slammed her fist into Madara's face while pulling out clumps of his beautiful hair, ignoring his pained cried and squeals.

Obito tried to slink off slowly, hoping he wasn't next.

"Where do you think _you're_ going, dattebayo...?" chirped Naruto innocently while slowly turning her head towards Obito like someone possessed, who was frozen comically in an _'I'm about to run the hell away from here'_ position while sweating buckets.

"U-um...mercy?" whimpered Obito watching as Naruto dropped a now beaten bloody, and completely bald Madara and was now advancing towards him.

Obito's pained screams rang through the abandoned war zone, beautiful Uchiha hair flew in all directions, while shinobi plus one Juubi watched from the side lines munching on delicious, buttery popcorn.

* * *

In the Afterlife...

Kushina watched proudly from above along with a terrified Jiraiya, a horror struck Nagato, a smiling Rin, a sweatdropping Neji, a smug as hell Mito, and everyone else who were glad they were dead and not facing an angry Uzumaki's wrath...

...Thought they did keep their distance from Kushina, Nagato, and Mito these days...

* * *

And so with that, the war ended, Naruto became a war hero to the shinobi nations and woman all around, Sasuke was dragged back to the Leaf with no protests, Naruto announced she was pregnant with Sasuke's child a few months later, was then announced Hokage, and...

...The Juubi become Naruto's new kitty, even though Sasuke tried to explain to his persistent girlfriend that the Juubi in _NO_ way was a kitty.

Good luck on convincing your pregnant wife, Sasuke.

* * *

 **AND THAT'S A WRAP!**

 **HOPE THIS WAS FUN TO READ, AND HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD LAUGH...**

 **JUST HAD TO ADD IN THAT SASUNARU HEHE~**

 **PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW, REVIEWS ARE _LOVE~_**


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